If our pasts are filled with parental figures who did not behave in our best interests, loved ones who abused our right to a safe childhood, or other events which we were too young and impressionable to properly process, your ACE (Adverse Childhood Experience) score will most likely be extremely high. 

​Although a tough childhood can severely affect our ability to make close relationships, getting to know God is a relationship that has endless rewards and is a great place to start if you feel you’re in a pattern self induced isolation. God gives us strength and can help us shed our angry exteriors and allow us to see the world as a place of possibilities and not just an obstacle course of hardships.  Once God changes our outlook, the wounds of our past will in time heal, and in the place of these wounds, scars will form which show our strength, perseverance and just how far you’ve come.

Emily Fossick is a former marketing intern that spent some at New Beginnings.  She is a student at UWM and was always willing to help out and provide some excellent insight.

Those who sit in the pews during church services seem to have an easy job. They show up, listen while the pastor does all the grunt work and afterwards they might enjoy a snack and connect with some community members.  Attending church is not a show, it’s a chance to challenge and fully engage with your faith, to ensure that our trusted leaders are doing their jobs correctly.   As Martin Luther preached “A simple layman armed with Scripture is to be believed above a pope or a council without it."

​If I’m a Lutheran, why can’t I take communion at all Lutheran Churches?
 
Communion is designed by God to be taken with one’s chosen church community. The Bible explains a group expresses a oneness when it communes together just like there is one loaf.  Individuals are to learn the Bible and check out whom they commune with and not all Lutheran churches are the same.  

At what age should someone start taking communion?
 
There is not a definite Biblical age where communion should be taken. Different churches decide different processes one must go through in order to take communion, but there is no solid answer.  Biblically, one must be able to understand what communion is as they take it.  Pastor Steinberg told us a story about a man living with dementia who could not understand the communion process sometimes while other times he could. This man was only given communion during the periods where he could fully understand why he was taking communion. 

Can I give my child more than two godparents?
 
Absolutely, godparents are not mentioned in the Bible once.  The origins of godparents stems back to early Christianity when persecution was common, and followers of Christ had to keep their church services secret.  When a new member wished to join they would not be taken to the secret church service location right away.  Instead, a “godparent” would tutor the hopeful member on scripture for a number of months until that new person could be trusted.  Once the new member was deemed trustworthy, their tutor would vouch for them in front of their church as the new member's godparent.  Because godparents are more or less a nice tradition now, it's okay to create your own guidelines for choosing the godparents of your child, weather that be 4 godmothers and no godfathers or simply one godfather, it’s completely up to you.  Pastor Steinberg did note that godparents are not legally recognized, for this reason he highly recommends making a will to make sure that your children are left in good hands in the event of your passing.

​Group Night is held at New Beginnings.  Every Thursday, we meet as a group to discuss important life skills and educational topics.  Discussions are led by community volunteers and can cover a broad range of topics.

​The experience of becoming a first-time mother has put a lot of things into perspective for me. It amazes me how our bodies react to the baby growing inside us: morning sickness (that name is so deceiving), sore boobs, bleeding gums, stuffy nose, headaches, itchy legs, utter exhaustion, and so much more. I really had no idea how difficult it could be! With symptoms like these it would be so difficult not to have the support of someone you love. My husband has been my rock through this experience: he has taken on extra chores around the house (including emptying the litter box *I was thrilled to give that up*), cooked for me, listened to me complain, and helped me when I felt sick. The fact that many of the mothers that come to New Beginnings do not have support from anyone when they call us breaks my heart now more than ever.

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​Doctor of Chiropractic, Camille Berger, visited New Beginnings to discuss the benefits of visiting a chiropractor and the overall importance of proper spinal care.  Chiropractic care allows your body to function as God intended, for you to live a life free of pain in order to maximize your full potential.  

​The spine is the controller of the entire body as it is the first system to receive signals from the brain on how to operate.  Receiving chiropractic care can lead to all-over bodily benefits like increased fertility, arthritis relief, and improved sleep, so seeing a chiropractor is not limited to those with ailments of the spine.

​This week for group night we welcomed Chris, an RN who is also a licensed nutritionist. She showed us the importance of paying attention to what we eat. It is possible to be at the right weight without medications and just by eating a healthy, balanced diet. At fifty-six, Chris is the same weight as she was when she was thirty-six and had her last child. Your body is a gift from God and we must be good stewards for the gifts he has given us. 

Nutrition is important because we need to have energy to do daily tasks. We need to maintain a healthy body weight and it also lowers the risk of health problems such as heart disease. A few easy things to start doing are to watch portion sizes and eats lots of foods that are dark green, red, and orange. Look on the packaging before eating any food because portion sizes are often smaller than they seem. 

What is exactly is stress? Stress is a chemical reaction in response to a negative reaction. It’s your body telling you that it doesn’t want to get hurt. This isn’t always bad; it helps keep you safe. However, too much stress can get you stuck in a negative state of being. When people are over-stressed, they typically worry too much about silly things or become desensitized to problem areas in their lives.

What are symptoms of being too stressed?
Stress has many symptoms and here are a few: increased heart rate, feeling lousy, feeling overwhelmed, forgetting things, loss of focus, and high blood pressure. Being stressed is much worse for pregnant mothers because the baby feels everything that his or her mother feels.

How do I deal with stress?
A big part of dealing with stress is recognizing it so you can plan for before, during, and after the fact. Many people only recognize what stress made them do after-the-fact. When you feel like you’re overstressed, give yourself a moment. Realize you’re having a rough time and get a fresh start. There are many simple ways to help relieve stress: write in journals, take a walk, bathe, color, listen or sing to music, pamper yourself, use a stress ball or something similar, read, take a nap, make lists, or exercise. Be proactive. When you’re really engaged it’s hard to think about all the extra stuff. Crying may not be a bad thing because it makes you feel better afterwards. It’s easier to spiral than to stay at a bottom. Everybody’s life is different. Everything has different meanings to different people. Hold yourself accountable by doing activities with others, such as working out. Get to a place where you can even compromise. Somethings will come with time. Take care of yourself.

Mind full vs. Mindful
Mindfulness is doing actions with purpose. Your mind is sometimes so cluttered that you don’t realize what you’re doing and live life on autopilot. You’re too busy thinking about the next thing that you neglect what you’re doing in the now. Focus on your breathing two minutes a day. Clear your mind. Learn awareness, self-acceptance, and letting things go. Set apps with reminders to force you to pause throughout the day. Close your eyes and take very deep breaths. Be aware of the noises around you. Open your eyes and say five things you can see, five you can hear, five you can touch, and try to find five things to taste and smell.  Be at peace. Accept things the way they are.

How to prevent stress
Find things that are important to you and make time. Say no to a new responsibility when you need to. Make sure to make yourself laugh every once in a while. Seek out that person who always puts a smile on your face or re-watch your favorite comedy. Intentionally build things into your day to brighten it up. Make your own day. Take long breaths—quickly count 1,2,3,4. Be aware of the right now and intentionally focus on what’s around you. If you need further help with your stress, many hospitals offer courses. A stress-free you is the best you!

​For this blog I interviewed one of my friends, Alexis. She’s 25 and the mother of Lola, who’s almost three. Alexis recently finished her associate’s degree and is continuing her education. She’s one of the strongest people I know, and I couldn’t wait to get some of her insights on what it’s like to be a single mother.

​What’s something you wish you would’ve known when becoming a mother?
Alexis wishes her father would’ve told her how hard it was to have a split family. She has one full brother, plus a sister from her father’s first marriage and another sister from a different relationship. Things never worked out with Lola’s father, but she remains in regular contact with him and Lola sees him often. However, it is so hard to make everyone happy. She’s trying to make it work, but there’s always something that doesn’t sit right.

What’s the best part about being a mother?
Alexis’s favorite moments are those quiet nights. Lola is always quick to announce her affection with an “I love you mom,” “Thank you mom,” or “You’re safe now.” “You can just tell by their look that you’re the greatest person in the world to them. Suddenly this gooey wet thing on your chest is the most important part of your life,” said Alexis. Unconditional love is an amazing thing. “You’re not doing half a bad job,” Alexis assures, “Always raise your child to be polite, helpful, and respectful.”

What are struggles you’ve faced as a single mother?
“Stability!” Alexis quickly responded, “Financial stability especially.” She’s currently looking for a new home for just her and Lola. She wants to be able to be the parent that she wants to be. She stated that even if you are living with someone rent-free, “pay rent” but put it into your child’s savings account. Additionally, when seasonal clothes go on sale, buy the next size up.

What advice would you give to single mothers?
“It’s okay,” Alexis said, “It’s okay if you have it together or if you don’t. If you have a baby you’re strong. You’re giving, caring and nurturing. You will be okay. Nothing will be as bad as you think. To Lola, I’m the best person. Don’t make your kid think it’s not okay. My parents sometimes didn’t have the best of times but that never stopped them from giving us a good life. Sky’s the limit. Never too late to go to school, even if you have two, four kids. Always resources out there.” 

This week for group night we welcomed Karie Gerke. She is a licensed physical therapist who is certified in infant massage. We had an awesome time with her as she showed us how mothers can bond with their little ones as young as one month old. Since we have no babies with us at this time, we used dolls that she brought with her. Shawna got to use “Miranda,” a very lifelike doll.

​The most important rule to follow when starting massages with a baby is to get his or her permission. Obviously young infants cannot yet speak but there are several physical cues to look for. These include giving nice eye contact, a smile, or simply a certain way that he or she turns their head. To turn massages or anything else into a routine, words and actions help the baby understand what is going to happen next. The baby should be in his or her alert stage but also calm. The massager should also be in a calm state and be ready to take her time. Babies can be massaged on a wide variety of surfaces, such as the floor, a table, a lap, or against a shoulder. Younger babies tend to feel more secure on the lap.

Even though it is an optional activity for caregivers to participate with their babies, infant massage has a wide range of benefits. Infants take a while to gain sensory awareness. With the help of massages, they gain a greater understanding of where their body parts are and how to use them. It sometimes takes a little bit of time for some babies to know they have feet! Massages can reduce stress and anxiety for the babies. It also helps to relieve tense muscles, especially if a baby spends a lot of time in one place such as a carrier or bouncy seat. The more a mother is in tune with her baby, the better she can determine if her baby is sick or has another ailment. Tummy strokes specifically help digestion for a fussy baby. Lastly, massages create a special bond between the mother and the baby. They are an excellent way for some one-on-one time and a fun activity.

​Is spring finally here? Only God knows but now is a great time to shake off the dust from winter and pull up your sleeves. Here is a simple guide to get started:

Out with the old
Get rid of clutter. Sort items you don’t want into three piles: throw away, donate, and sell. Many possessions like toys and clothes can go a long way if donated. Money earned from selling other items can go towards a little pocket money or be donated to your favorite charity.

Having a hard time getting started? Start small. Do a drawer a day. Divide up tasks. Give yourself a reward for everything you check off your list.
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Reorganize your wardrobe. While you’re shifting out your heavier clothes for your summer line, why not go through your wardrobe to get rid of articles you never wear anymore? If your closet looks appealing, you’ll look appealing!
Organize books and dishes so they are easier to find and look more presentable. 

​Top to bottom
Clean your residence from top to bottom! Clean light and ceiling fixtures. Fans can be dusted with long cleaning tools or get on top of a ladder and brush the dust into a pillowcase.

Don’t forget the walls; even though they are a flat, sheer surface dust still collects on them. Windows can be cleaned simply with a rag and soapy water. Other a good glass solution can be made with water, white vinegar, rubbing alcohol, and a few drops of peppermint extract. Use a squeegee to get that extra sparkle.

Lastly, buff your wood floors. A D.I.Y. solution can be made with olive oil, white vinegar, hot water, and a few drops of lemon essential oil. Tough tile stains can be removed with baking soda and water. Just make sure to use a non-abrasive scrubber so you won’t scratch your floors.

Deep clean
Here is a list of furniture and appliances to make sure you cover: dishwasher, countertops, cabinets, stove, refrigerator, sink and faucets, bathtub and shower, bedding and mattress, washing machine, silverware, bookshelves, patio furniture, couches, tables, chairs, and other upholstery.

Use salt and soda water to clean inside refrigerators.  This is also an excellent time to go through your entire fridge and get rid of all expired food. Also when you’re finished don’t forget to place an open box baking soda in both your freezer and fridge. Move your fridge away from the wall and clean all the dust built up behind it. This way you can clean the condenser coil to keep your fridge fully functioning and reunite yourself with anything you or your cat have kicked behind it.

Even if blankets and pillows don’t need to be cleaned, air them out to get rid of any winter drab.

​Finally, don’t forget to disinfect your cleaning tools like brooms, vacuums, and sponges.

​Spring is a beautiful time. It’s the season where everything starts fresh. Why not get rid of the clutter in our hearts? Let bygones be bygones. Let go of old grudges and stressors. We are in the Easter season; Christ has washed away all our transgressions! Take this time to start anew and blossom like the beautiful human being that God created.

As I child, I understood the concept of respect but didn’t know the actual word for word meaning.  I thought that everybody understood what respect meant but, since working at New Beginnings, I realize how wrong I was!  Some of the mothers who come into New Beginnings, view respect as, “You aren’t giving me what I want, and therefore, you are not respecting me!”  My favorite false idea of respect is “I will respect you as long as you respect me and do as I want.”  The two play hand in hand.  I then realized just how blessed I was to have the strong Christian upbringing that I had along with the guidance of my parents who taught me to respect others. 

​So, what is respect?  In the dictionary it has a few different meanings but I found two that really seem to nail down the definition.  

​This is the love and respect we give the mothers who come to us looking for a new beginning.  We strive to help them accomplish their goals and grow closer to God through His Word.  We help teach them what God has to say about respect for not only others but for themselves.  I quickly found out that not everybody grew up being respected by others and therefore don’t know how to respect themselves as an adult.  Through daily instruction in God’s Word, we learn together the love that He has for us, and how He sent His Son to die for us.  What a blessed message to share with the mothers and their little ones!