If you would have asked me one year ago today, what I thought I would be doing with my life now...being the Case Manager at New Beginnings would have been the last thing on my radar.  I was teaching 6-8 grade English Language Arts at Christ St. Peter's West Campus. I loved it and I loved my students very much, but I was beginning to feel that teaching was no longer for me.  Almost as if I had "aged out" of it. As someone near and dear to me said recently, "Teaching is not an old person's game".  I'd like to believe he wasn't implying I was old, but he's been telling me I am close to 50 since I turned 45. So there's that.  
     Last April I made the difficult decision to peacefully resign my position as 6-8 ELA teacher.  I knew in my heart it was the right thing to do, and I prayed to God that he would soon lead me to my new beginning. 
   
     So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.” But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” The man asked him, “What is your name?” “Jacob,” he answered. Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel,[a] because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.” Genesis 32:24-28

     Just like Jacob wrestled with God, so did I. "Please Lord, I still want to serve in your church, allow me to share your Word with parents and children. This is what I need, this is what I want."  I prayed this over and over again.  When I didn't get the position at WISCO as the international liaison for foreign exchange students, I was disappointed, but I still prayed. After interviewing for a position as a Foster Care Support Lead at Kingdom Workers for three hours total, I thought I had that job "in the bag."  God decided to serve me a big piece of humble pie.  After careful consideration, they did not think I was the one for the job.  I cried over that one.  A lot.  What in the world did God want from me? For me?  I prayed again. "Please Lord, lead me to serve in your church, allow me to share your Word with parents and children. This is what I need, this is what I want."  
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     Then in June, I was told about the Case Manager position at New Beginnings.  I didn't even know that New Beginnings was a home for mothers here in Milwaukee, I only knew about the one that had closed in Denver, Colorado back in 2014.  I won't lie; I was a bit leery about applying for this position because in many respects it was similar to the role they were trying to fill at Kingdom Workers.  If I wasn't a good fit there, what would make me think they would take a second look at me here?  At the end of the day, it wasn't up to me.  I was entirely putting it in God's hands.  This position was exactly what I had been praying for.  Working alongside of young mothers to help them be the best Christian parent they could be, helping them to set goals, find jobs, get an education, and most importantly, I would get to share my faith with them.  I prayed for strength and peace going into the interview.  I spoke with Chelsea, our Home Manager, over the phone and then interviewed with her in person.  I interviewed with Maddy, the President of the New Beginnings Board and then they both recommended me to Pastor Robert Fleischman.  I was hired.
     
     That was 9 months ago.  To say that I didn't know what I didn't know is an understatement. 
     
     I have learned...

• a lot about how to navigate resources for single moms. 
• that the W2 office does not have anything to do with taxes; rather, it is a program that helps single moms by paying them to go back to school. 
• that baby poop which has been sucked up by a vacuum cleaner, renders said vacuum unusable (long story).
• that the capacity to give grace and forgiveness truly has no beginning or end. Jesus gave it to the lepers, the prostitutes, the rapists, thieves, and people who hated him...so how can we do any less?
• to empathize and encourage, but not to enable.
• patience truly is a virtue and something that needs to be cultivated and exercised by everyone, every day. 
• that baby and toddler snuggles are the cure for just about anything.  

     Those are just a small sampling of the things I have learned.  God-willing, he will allow me to continue to write this blog and share more about the amazing and wonderful ways he is blessing us here. My heart is full. 

     If you are reading this, then you are already supporting us and I thank you for taking the time to learn more about New Beginnings.  If you feel so moved, please share this blog and our website on your Instagram and/or Facebook.  

    *Next up....I'll be sharing information on our brand-new building and just how close we are to breaking ground!!!*
     

“But I say to you who listen: Love your enemies, do what is good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you...Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” Luke 6:27-28, 37
A young woman sat quietly in the back of the church, tears streaming down her cheeks. Her pastor had just read these words from Luke and then he said this...
"These commands don’t feel like good news. They feel impossible. And the truth is, we can’t live up to this standard. Don’t be mistaken, Jesus isn’t laying out a twelve-step program for self-improvement. These words, as hard as they are, aren’t designed to build a better “you.” Instead, they show us our desperate need for grace."
The need for grace. This is something that is truly hard for the residents at New Beginnings to wrap their heads around when they first come to our home. They have been homeless, living in poverty, scared, desperate, and many of them physically and or sexually assaulted by a family member or boyfriend. And let's not forget, they are also caring for a baby, or they are pregnant. These women do not feel that they deserve grace, and they most definitely struggle with giving it. The young woman in the back of church, no exception. The pastor continued on...
"Jesus says, “Be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” But we’re far from perfect. We don’t love the way God loves us. We love ourselves more than we love others. When we’re hurt, we want payback instead of forgiveness. We curse those who curse us and avoid praying for those who mistreat us. Jesus’ words reveal our brokenness, showing us that we fall short of God’s perfect love."
Wanting pay back, cursing those who curse them, and avoiding praying for those who mistreat them is a real struggle for these women. How can one pray for the boyfriend who repeatedly raped her and for those who claimed it wasn't rape because they were dating? How can another not curse those who victim shame or blame her? How are they the ones carrying the Scarlet A on their chest when everyone knows it takes two to make a baby? Most of all, they blame and hate themselves for the predicament they are in, understanding that the choices they have made in the past are the reason they have an uncertain future. The shame, embarrassment, and abandonment that they feel is palpable. Again, the pastor continued...
"And that’s exactly why Jesus came. He doesn’t give us these instructions because we can follow them. He gives them to us because we can’t—and we need him. Jesus lived out the love he calls us to. He loved us first, even when we were his enemies. While we hate, he loved. While we hold grudges, he forgave. And while we curse those who wrong us, he suffered our curse on the cross. The cross is the most powerful proof of God’s love."
This is the message we share with our moms every day. Jesus loved us first. He forgave his enemies. He died for his enemies and for those who are considered by others to be "undesirable". He died for these moms and their babies. It is such a privilege to be able to share God's word with them, and almost every day we talk about forgiving and giving undeserved love. I don't expect these mothers to "get over it" or "forget it", the minute they walk through our doors. In order for our mothers to be successful in life, they absolutely need time to break unhealthy mindsets and cycles...and that can take several years. That is why they are able to stay at New Beginnings for up to 5 years.
"Jesus did the impossible for us. He loved us perfectly. And then he paid the penalty for every moment we’ve failed to love. Through his death, we are free from the burden of our broken love. We are forgiven, fully pardoned, and part of God’s family. And by his resurrection, we have the power to live a new life. No longer trapped by hatred or resentment but free to love like Jesus."
And what about the young woman weeping in the back of church? The words that this Pastor spoke, touched her soul. The Holy Spirit filled her with his peace and for the first time in several years she felt free from the burden of her broken love. The chains of bitterness, anger, and self-hatred were broken. She was free to love like Jesus.

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