Our mothers at New Beginnings witness this kind of giving and generosity every day. Because of you, they have a warm bed to sleep in, clothes for their babies, safety and security, and so much more. You have helped to give them hope and a future. We want to help even more mothers and babies experience the hope and transformation that come through our ministry. We already have plans and property to build a 12-unit apartment building with all the amenities to help these moms thrive. 

Currently, we have raised $2,060,504.83 through the generosity of so many, but to break ground this coming May as planned, we need to raise an additional $2,300,000.
Will you please consider helping us make this dream become a reality?

Whether it is $1.00 or $1,000, from the bottom of my heart, I am truly grateful for anything you are moved to give.

Merry Christmas, and God Bless Us, EVERYONE!
Mrs. Ruth Westphal
​Program and Ministry Care Manager

Dear Friends of New Beginnings, 

I would be honored if you would join me on Thursday, November 6th for “A Toast to Tomorrow”. For the past year, it has been my privilege to serve single moms and their babies at New Beginnings. I have seen firsthand how this program blesses them and brings them closer to their Lord and Savior. 

But there are so many more mothers that we can help. Every day we receive phone calls from mothers looking for a new beginning, many of them having more than one child, and we just do not have the space to accommodate them. This is why we are building a 12-unit apartment complex. This building will have an on-site day care, counseling room, fitness center, a playground, and twelve 2-bedroom apartments.

We aim to break ground next May, 2026. In order to do that I have been tasked with raising $2 million (just a drop in the bucket). I am on fire for this mission and ministry, so I am highly motivated to make this happen.  Below you'll read testimonies from our current residents, and you will see why.

Please join me for a fun night with delicious food and drinks and help me to make this dream a reality. Click the "Toas to Tomorrow" image at the end of this blog entry to purchase tickets or if you cannot make it, but would still like to donate, you can do that too. Thank you so much and I hope to see you there! 

God Bless & Keep You, Always and In ALL Ways!  
Ruth

Contrary to what the popular quote says, ignorance is not always bliss.   This is especially true within our churches when it comes to domestic violence in any form.  We might hear whisperings like "the Sunday School teacher is being abused by her husband", or "so and so's 15-year-old daughter was raped by her 18-year-old boyfriend...but they were dating, so...was it really rape?"

Instead of gossiping to the next itching ear, or worse, shaming or blaming the victim-- what if we asked the question, "How can I help?"   

There is a way you can.

Kingdom Workers has established a program called RISE.  The following is a description of how this program works, taken directly from the Kingdom Workers website: 

     "Survivors of relationship abuse often keep their experiences to themselves out of fear, guilt, and shame. Relationship abuse not only affects a person physically, it also harms their emotional, mental, and spiritual health. Healing from these traumas takes time, understanding, and the truths of God's love. 
     Every person handling domestic abuse situations faces a unique set of challenges that impact their road to healing. Pastors, friends, and family can be a resource for them. And so can an Advocate. As an Advocate, you’ll join their team. You will walk alongside them. You will be another shoulder to lean on, another ear to listen. Another friend to point them toward the true and lasting healing found in Jesus.
     This training that will equip you for your work as an advocate. Training includes topics like, defining abuse, examining how trauma affects behaviors, why someone might stay in an abusive relationship, and how you can safely help them. "
   
In addition to RISE, Lori Kinsley (Rise Program Leader with KW) has created a new Seminar called LOVE IS. Survivors of relationship abuse often struggle to understand what a healthy Christian relationship looks like.  Sadly, this can make them more vulnerable to finding themselves in another unhealthy relationship.

This two-day seminar will cover important topics like "key factors in any healthy intimate relationship", "Attachment Style," and "Types of Intimacy".

LOVE IS, is not just for survivors of abuse, but also for anyone who is in a relationship... whether dating, newlyweds, or married for 50 years.  It is never too late to learn healthy relationship habits rooted in God's Word.  

Would you like to be Certified as an Advocate?  Would you like to better understand what a healthy Christian relationship looks like-- grounded in God's Word?  New Beginnings is hosting Lori at Centennial Ev. Lutheran Church.  She will train attendees to become Advocates, and she is going to teach us what "LOVE (truly) IS".  Please click the button below to view event dates & details, and to RSVP to one or all of session.  

We hope you'll join us.  You can be a vital part of a person's healing journey, so that they don't just survive-- but thrive under God's Grace.
                   "But for you who revere my name. the Sun of Righteousness will rise with healing in its rays."
                                                                                                                                                                       Malachi 4:2
God be with you all.
Ruth

      I have been thinking of the women I serve; not only at our Home for Mothers, but also in our community and it brought to mind a conversation that occurred many years ago.  I was Facetiming with my dear friend Sally, who is actually more of a big sister to me. We met when I taught her son Corey at Peridot-Our Savior's Lutheran on the San Carlos Apache Reservation 28 years ago.  I mentioned to her that I had picked out a devotion to read for a Women's Tea at our church, but that I just wasn’t feeling confident in my choice. She asked me if I had prayed about it and just a "tad bit" ashamed I replied that I had not. “RUTH! Ok. We will pray about this together right now.” Her words held such wisdom, and such strength of Faith in her LORD. It was SUCH a comfort to me and afterwards I felt so at peace. Since that day, Sally and I have prayed together several times.  
     Thinking about our conversation and the prayer Sally prayed on my behalf made me think of the incredible relationship she and I have...not just as sisters from another mister, but as sisters in Christ.  This extends to the mothers we serve here, and to women everywhere.  We are all sisters in Christ. Whether we are parenting our own children, the favorite aunty, teachers, or Godmothers, those who’ve lost a child, or prayed for children that never came...we all have a mother's heart.  
     God's word to us in Proverbs 31 comes to mind.  

In June I will be celebrating my 1-year anniversary of working at New Beginnings.  Having the opportunity to serve God by serving these women and children has been so rewarding and such a blessing to me.  Several people have asked me to describe what I do in my role as case manager, so I have managed to come up with my "Top Ten" list of how I would describe my day-to-day life here at NB. 
     
​Please take a minute to peruse the list:

1. Rewarding
2. Difficult
3. Joy-filled
4. Heart-breaking
5. Fun
6. Frustrating
7. Character building
8. Exhausting 
9. Loving
10. Exciting

     It gives you a bit of whip lash reading the list, doesn't it?   How does the pendulum swing that far?  Because I am working with women who are in fight or flight, and in constant survival mode.  They are desperate to feel safe, loved, and stable.  They have not felt this way in months, most times years, and for some...they have never felt that way.  This means that it will take months and sometimes years to break the chains that have had them shackled for so long.  At NB we pray that we will be able to help them heal and find stability.  This is why we are a 5-year program.​

"I get to serve the LORD by serving these girls and their babies. ​It's a pretty sweat deal and
        I absolutely love that I get to do this every day. "        

​My official title is Case Manager, but I have taken to referring to myself as the "Case-momager".   This is because they are under my care, I help them to navigate life through goal meetings, and yes, I sometimes have to discipline these young women.  The biggest reason for the new title?  I love them like they are my own.  We have celebrated Birthdays, Christmas, and Easter,visited the zoo, painted, and so much more...together. I have had the joyand privilege of attending the baptism of a mother and her son and watching her graduate with her HSED (high school diploma).  There is always so much laughter and love.  The most special part of my role?  I get to worship with these moms every single day and sometimes even on Sunday.   I get to serve the LORD by serving these girls and their babies.  It's a pretty sweet deal and I absolutely love that I get to do this every day.     ​

​​     But sometimes it is just.so.hard. Unfortunately, because of past trauma and having that "fight or flight" response, some moms are masters of manipulation and will tell people on the outside just about anything that will paint themselves in a good light, and ours in a dark one.  I have had a couple of people question our programming and practices.  "How could you just put her out on the street? Aren't you going to do something for her? Who makes these decisions?"  It is heart-breaking to know that there are some who look down on us for the decisions we make, because they have no idea that we would do (have done) anything (everything) for these women.  So, I have decided to shed some much-needed light on the situation.     
​Here is what they don't see:  

• ​Pages and pages of documentation detailing verbal warnings and write-ups.
• A young mom screaming in my face for 10 minutes straight because I asked her to come down for devotion.
• Finding a vacuum cleaner filled with baby poo and a garbage can on the back porch, purposely placed upside down also full of poo and maggots in 90* weather. 
• Watching a mother refuse to feed her malnourished baby solids because she was afraid her baby would choke.
• Me being threatened by a pregnant mother who didn't want to do programming.
• Seeing a mother struggling so bad with PPD that she didn't shower, clean, or properly take care of her baby.
• Putting my whole heart and soul into helping a struggling mom succeed, only to have her leave with no notice.
• Not being able to say goodbye to the mothers and babies I have come to love and care for.​

Whenever we lose a resident, whether it is by choice or because we have had to ask them to leave, there is always a very good reason(s).  Decisions about disciplinary actions, write-ups, and termination of a resident's ability to live here are not made in a vacuum.  I work very closely with Chelsea, our Home Manager, and we live by the 3 E's.  "Encourage. Empathize. Do not Enable."   We give grace upon grace up on grace...and we have patience. So. Much. Patience.  At the end of the day, these young women have to want to change.  They have to want more for themselves and their child.  Looking back on the moms who have left our program, every single one of them had two or more       of the following issues.
​They:

• still wanted to blame others for their problems 
• were combative
• unwilling to do programming
• angry at the world
• were struggling with mental health concerns.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   These are things that they can overcome, but only if they are ready and willing to put in the work.   When they come to us it isn't easy to see if they are ready or not.  We just pray with and for them, that they will be successful and that, " The God of hope fill them with all joy and peace as they trust in him, so that they may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13"

        Will you please pray with and for us too?  Pray for our moms and their babies.  Pray for the Staff at NB, that God will continue to give us the mental, emotional, and physical strenth to be present for our residents. Finally, please pray that we will continue to be able to serve mothers and children for years and years to come.

                                                                                  Postscript:
     In Watertown, Wisconsin there is another home for mothers called Cornerstone of Grace. Heather Minning, a case manager there, graciously answered the following questions for me regarding her experiences. Thank you so much Heather!
                                                     What is the most rewarding part of your job? 
     Listening to the women pray out loud. Their prayers come from a pure heart, they aren’t lofty, unending prayers, they aren’t trying to impress someone. They pray honest, raw prayers of grace, forgiveness and love. They know what it’s like to live on the streets and see the devil in someone’s eyes. They know what it’s like to feel hopeless yet, because of God working in their hearts at Cornerstone they also know God’s love and mercy.  
                        What is the most challenging part of your job?
     When I first began at Cornerstone, I was running ragged, trying to meet every woman and child’s needs at both homes. Driving them here and there, remembering every conversation, what triggers them, bringing them homemade treats, staying late, etc. I became burned out and slowly began relying on myself instead of giving it to God and allowing him to fully take care of their needs.  I’ve learned that it’s okay to say, “Not right now” or “I’ll get back to you” or “I’ll pray about it”, instead of fulfilling their every wish right at that moment. I still care but have limits and give it to God to gently guiding them. 
        Please describe a specific experience that brought you joy.
      At Cornerstone of Grace the women have bible study in the mornings on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Fridays at 5:15 a.m. They start their day off right and get in God’s word before kids wake up and work happens. Incredible moments happen around our long conference table in the mornings. Recently, the women have started creating their own topical lessons to teach to one another.  
​     One morning Michele, the founder of Cornerstone, was explaining how to use a Bible, where the books were, how many in the Old Testament, New Testament, etc. I watched them fumble through with sleepy eyes asking questions and not understanding the things I simply took for granted. It was eye opening. One mom was asking what’s the job in the Bible?” She pronounced it like someone getting hired for a job.  It always brings me joy to see the Bible through their eyes and their willingness to learn from it. ​

The idea behind the phrase "If you build it, they will come", is that if something of value or interest is created, people will naturally be drawn to it.  I agree with this observation 100% because I have seen this fist hand in my fundraising efforts for our new home for mothers.  People want to see something tangible.  Don't tell them that you are "thinking" of building or that you "might" have property to build on.  Folks want to hear that you have plans drawn up and that you have purchased the property.  It is my privilege to share that we do have plans drawn up and we have purchased property! 
    Since 2014, New Beginnings has been blessed to rent a small apartment on Wisconsin Ave from Wisconsin Lutheran College (WLC). While this has been a tremendous blessing to us, they are in the process of selling the property.  When this happens, we will likely need a new home for our mothers and babies, or we will be looking at an increased cost in rent.  This brings a certain sense of urgency to our situation, and the need to build our 12-unit apartment complex is important now more than ever before.
     
     Over the past few years, our campaign hit a few snags through no fault of our own:  

• Rising Costs: Initially estimated at $5 million, construction costs have surged due to inflation and tariffs. The current estimate stands at $6.7 million. 
• Ongoing challenges in the building industry have added further complications. 
• ​In April 2023, the wife of our founder, Pastor Robert Fleischmann, was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer so of course his attentions needed to be focused on her. 

     
     Despite these challenges, God promised us in Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”   
     
     Blessings abound: 

• Before our pause in fundraising, we raised over $1 million in gifts and commitments. 
• A former resident shared her story and connected us with resources that will help us control some construction costs. 
• In June 2023, we learned that a donor had left 90% of their estate to New Beginnings. This gift will bring $1.35 million once finalized. 

     Because of these extraordinary gifts from God, we are more determined than ever to continue our fundraising efforts.  Our goal is to raise $4.25 million so that we can build our new home debt-free. At the very least, we are aiming to raise $3.6 million by May, 2026 so that construction can begin without delay. 

     This new facility will allow us to: 

• Expand our capacity to serve more mothers and babies. 
• Provide modern amenities tailored for education, parenting support, and spiritual growth. 
• ​Create a legacy of hope and faith in action. 

                                      
     I humbly ask that you please continue to pray for our current residents, and for the success of our Heart Campaign so that we can serve even more mothers and babies. This QR code will take you directly to our Heart Campaign tab on our website where you can find more information about our Capital Campaign and the different ways that you can donate, if you feel so moved.   

Thank you so very much for all that you do for New Beginnings: A Home for Mothers.  May God bless and keep you, always and in ALL ways.   

Have a very blessed Holy Week, 
Mrs. Ruth Westphal 
Case Manager ​

     If you would have asked me one year ago today, what I thought I would be doing with my life now...being the Case Manager at New Beginnings would have been the last thing on my radar.  I was teaching 6-8 grade English Language Arts at Christ St. Peter's West Campus. I loved it and I loved my students very much, but I was beginning to feel that teaching was no longer for me.  Almost as if I had "aged out" of it. As someone near and dear to me said recently, "Teaching is not an old person's game".  I'd like to believe he wasn't implying I was old, but he's been telling me I am close to 50 since I turned 45. So there's that.  
     Last April I made the difficult decision to peacefully resign my position as 6-8 ELA teacher.  I knew in my heart it was the right thing to do, and I prayed to God that he would soon lead me to my new beginning. 
   
     So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.” But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” The man asked him, “What is your name?” “Jacob,” he answered. Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel,[a] because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.” Genesis 32:24-28

     Just like Jacob wrestled with God, so did I. "Please Lord, I still want to serve in your church, allow me to share your Word with parents and children. This is what I need, this is what I want."  I prayed this over and over again.  When I didn't get the position at WISCO as the international liaison for foreign exchange students, I was disappointed, but I still prayed. After interviewing for a position as a Foster Care Support Lead at Kingdom Workers for three hours total, I thought I had that job "in the bag."  God decided to serve me a big piece of humble pie.  After careful consideration, they did not think I was the one for the job.  I cried over that one.  A lot.  What in the world did God want from me? For me?  I prayed again. "Please Lord, lead me to serve in your church, allow me to share your Word with parents and children. This is what I need, this is what I want."  
​
     Then in June, I was told about the Case Manager position at New Beginnings.  I didn't even know that New Beginnings was a home for mothers here in Milwaukee, I only knew about the one that had closed in Denver, Colorado back in 2014.  I won't lie; I was a bit leery about applying for this position because in many respects it was similar to the role they were trying to fill at Kingdom Workers.  If I wasn't a good fit there, what would make me think they would take a second look at me here?  At the end of the day, it wasn't up to me.  I was entirely putting it in God's hands.  This position was exactly what I had been praying for.  Working alongside of young mothers to help them be the best Christian parent they could be, helping them to set goals, find jobs, get an education, and most importantly, I would get to share my faith with them.  I prayed for strength and peace going into the interview.  I spoke with Chelsea, our Home Manager, over the phone and then interviewed with her in person.  I interviewed with Maddy, the President of the New Beginnings Board and then they both recommended me to Pastor Robert Fleischman.  I was hired.
     
     That was 9 months ago.  To say that I didn't know what I didn't know is an understatement. 
     
     I have learned...

• a lot about how to navigate resources for single moms. 
• that the W2 office does not have anything to do with taxes; rather, it is a program that helps single moms by paying them to go back to school. 
• that baby poop which has been sucked up by a vacuum cleaner, renders said vacuum unusable (long story).
• that the capacity to give grace and forgiveness truly has no beginning or end. Jesus gave it to the lepers, the prostitutes, the rapists, thieves, and people who hated him...so how can we do any less?
• to empathize and encourage, but not to enable.
• patience truly is a virtue and something that needs to be cultivated and exercised by everyone, every day. 
• that baby and toddler snuggles are the cure for just about anything.  

     Those are just a small sampling of the things I have learned.  God-willing, he will allow me to continue to write this blog and share more about the amazing and wonderful ways he is blessing us here. My heart is full. 

     If you are reading this, then you are already supporting us and I thank you for taking the time to learn more about New Beginnings.  If you feel so moved, please share this blog and our website on your Instagram and/or Facebook.  

    *Next up....I'll be sharing information on our brand-new building and just how close we are to breaking ground!!!*
     

“But I say to you who listen: Love your enemies, do what is good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you...Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” Luke 6:27-28, 37
A young woman sat quietly in the back of the church, tears streaming down her cheeks. Her pastor had just read these words from Luke and then he said this...
"These commands don’t feel like good news. They feel impossible. And the truth is, we can’t live up to this standard. Don’t be mistaken, Jesus isn’t laying out a twelve-step program for self-improvement. These words, as hard as they are, aren’t designed to build a better “you.” Instead, they show us our desperate need for grace."
The need for grace. This is something that is truly hard for the residents at New Beginnings to wrap their heads around when they first come to our home. They have been homeless, living in poverty, scared, desperate, and many of them physically and or sexually assaulted by a family member or boyfriend. And let's not forget, they are also caring for a baby, or they are pregnant. These women do not feel that they deserve grace, and they most definitely struggle with giving it. The young woman in the back of church, no exception. The pastor continued on...
"Jesus says, “Be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” But we’re far from perfect. We don’t love the way God loves us. We love ourselves more than we love others. When we’re hurt, we want payback instead of forgiveness. We curse those who curse us and avoid praying for those who mistreat us. Jesus’ words reveal our brokenness, showing us that we fall short of God’s perfect love."
Wanting pay back, cursing those who curse them, and avoiding praying for those who mistreat them is a real struggle for these women. How can one pray for the boyfriend who repeatedly raped her and for those who claimed it wasn't rape because they were dating? How can another not curse those who victim shame or blame her? How are they the ones carrying the Scarlet A on their chest when everyone knows it takes two to make a baby? Most of all, they blame and hate themselves for the predicament they are in, understanding that the choices they have made in the past are the reason they have an uncertain future. The shame, embarrassment, and abandonment that they feel is palpable. Again, the pastor continued...
"And that’s exactly why Jesus came. He doesn’t give us these instructions because we can follow them. He gives them to us because we can’t—and we need him. Jesus lived out the love he calls us to. He loved us first, even when we were his enemies. While we hate, he loved. While we hold grudges, he forgave. And while we curse those who wrong us, he suffered our curse on the cross. The cross is the most powerful proof of God’s love."
This is the message we share with our moms every day. Jesus loved us first. He forgave his enemies. He died for his enemies and for those who are considered by others to be "undesirable". He died for these moms and their babies. It is such a privilege to be able to share God's word with them, and almost every day we talk about forgiving and giving undeserved love. I don't expect these mothers to "get over it" or "forget it", the minute they walk through our doors. In order for our mothers to be successful in life, they absolutely need time to break unhealthy mindsets and cycles...and that can take several years. That is why they are able to stay at New Beginnings for up to 5 years.
"Jesus did the impossible for us. He loved us perfectly. And then he paid the penalty for every moment we’ve failed to love. Through his death, we are free from the burden of our broken love. We are forgiven, fully pardoned, and part of God’s family. And by his resurrection, we have the power to live a new life. No longer trapped by hatred or resentment but free to love like Jesus."
And what about the young woman weeping in the back of church? The words that this Pastor spoke, touched her soul. The Holy Spirit filled her with his peace and for the first time in several years she felt free from the burden of her broken love. The chains of bitterness, anger, and self-hatred were broken. She was free to love like Jesus.

​

The options were there for me. I could keep my baby, abort my baby, or allow him to be adopted.  I knew in my heart that I could not kill my gift from God.  I don't think that I could bear to give my child up either.  Therefore, I kept my son.  Loved him.  Raised him.  Cared for him.  I knew he was a gift.

As days went by and my children got older, I saw God's work in them and in me.  As I taught my children lessons in life, they taught me also.  They taught me that my heart can be filled with love.  Unconditional love for my children is something that I had from the moment I knew they were inside me.  If my sinful heart could love my children this much, how much more can my perfect God love me?  God's love for all his children is truly beyond my comprehension.

Sleepless nights, diaper changes, and doctor visits consumed my life and although it was hard, it was worth it.  They are growing to be Christ centered young adults who truly try to love others as Christ has loved them.  I am very proud of the choices that they are making and so happy to have them in my life.

Here at New Beginnings, our mothers also saw their children as a gift and are experiencing the challenges and blessings that come with being a mother.  With knowledge, experience, God's Word, and a helping hand, they will succeed in meeting their goals and be able to make it on their own.

It is an uphill struggle every day like any mother learning how to take care of their first child.  Some of them grew up in horrible situations, so learning how to take care of a new life, learning to cope with their old life, and learning a new life of structure and love makes it even more difficult.  New Beginnings is there to help them, teach them, and guide them as they navigate their own new beginning.

As our Lord and Savior taught us, we are here to help those in need.  It is because of our generous donors and volunteers that we are able to share the gospel with them, guide them in different areas of life, and give them a safe, Christian home.

​Lately, I’ve been reading a book called Boundaries, by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. For those unfamiliar with the book, it’s basically an extremely popular how-to guide on how to set boundaries as a Christian. In this blog post, I’m going to highlight some of the parenting advice given in the book. 

Children should be allowed to have boundaries-Not allowing a child to say no “handicaps that child for life.” Children who aren’t ever allowed to say no, especially when they’re uncomfortable, end up basing their boundaries on what others want and expect from them.

Children learn boundaries in different stages-In between five and ten months, babies realize that they are different individuals from their mothers and begin to develop curiosity. During early toddlerhood, children take their first steps towards independence by practicing doing things on their own. Between eighteen months and three years, children begin to use the word no frequently because they have discovered that they are not all-powerful and can’t do everything themselves.

How parents SHOULDN’T handle boundaries-Townsend and Cloud write that parents shouldn’t withdraw in hurt or exhibit hostility when children set boundaries because children will then avoid setting them due to the negative reaction they receive. Similarly, setting too many or too few limits on one’s children will result in an adult who has dysfunctional ways of relating to the world around him or her. Inconsistent limits will confuse children. Inflicting trauma on children will cause massive wounds that will make setting boundaries impossible or close to impossible for children as adults.

Sometimes roles are reversed-Occasionally, the parent-child relationship will be turned upside-down, with the child looking after the parent instead of the other way around. The Bible does say that adult children should take care of their aging parents. However, adult children should take into account whether their elderly parents are actually in need, and how much resources can be allocated to them.
​
Set boundaries with children early on. The sooner children learn boundaries, the more time and practice they will have to set them. 

Setting boundaries consists of both positive and negative boundaries-Positive discipline is taking the initiative to explain to children the positive effects that will follow having boundaries. Negative discipline is when children experience consequences for failing to stay within those boundaries (for example, losing electronic privileges for a day when they don’t go to bed on time).

Children have boundary needs for different reasons-Children need to have boundaries in order to protect themselves, take responsibility for their needs, have a sense of control and choice, delay gratification, and respect others’ limits.
 
Children need different kinds of boundary training at different ages-During their five months, infants should be able to form close attachments with their parents. Between five and ten months, babies should be encouraged to explore their surroundings, but always with the option of returning to the parent. Three to five year old children will start to become aware of their sex, so parents understand that children may become attached to the same-sex parent while competing with the opposite-sex parent. Children aged six to eleven should be guided in setting their own boundaries and practicing delayed gratification so they will internalize it. Eleven to eighteen year olds need parents who will allow them opportunities to set their own boundaries as much as possible to ensure that they will be able to make a smooth transition into adult life.

There are certain criteria that should be considered when parents are looking at forms of discipline-Whatever discipline model parents choose to use, the consequences should increase children’s sense of control and responsibility, be age appropriate, and be related to the seriousness of any infractions. Parents should also remember that boundaries are meant to use an internal motivation to produce self-induced consequences.
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Parents should set technology boundaries with teens-Above all, Cloud advises, you should know your children if you want to set effective digital boundaries with them. Parents should trust their teenagers, but also expect them to prove themselves worthy of that trust. Lastly, know that while teens should be allowed to have digital privacy, parents are entitled to invade that privacy if they suspect that their teens are involved in something dangerous. 

Reference: ​[1] Cloud, Henry and Townsend, John (1992, 2017).Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life (Updated and Expanded). Zondervan.