Those who sit in the pews during church services seem to have an easy job. They show up, listen while the pastor does all the grunt work and afterwards they might enjoy a snack and connect with some community members.  Attending church is not a show, it’s a chance to challenge and fully engage with your faith, to ensure that our trusted leaders are doing their jobs correctly.   As Martin Luther preached “A simple layman armed with Scripture is to be believed above a pope or a council without it."

​If I’m a Lutheran, why can’t I take communion at all Lutheran Churches?
 
Communion is designed by God to be taken with one’s chosen church community. The Bible explains a group expresses a oneness when it communes together just like there is one loaf.  Individuals are to learn the Bible and check out whom they commune with and not all Lutheran churches are the same.  

At what age should someone start taking communion?
 
There is not a definite Biblical age where communion should be taken. Different churches decide different processes one must go through in order to take communion, but there is no solid answer.  Biblically, one must be able to understand what communion is as they take it.  Pastor Steinberg told us a story about a man living with dementia who could not understand the communion process sometimes while other times he could. This man was only given communion during the periods where he could fully understand why he was taking communion. 

Can I give my child more than two godparents?
 
Absolutely, godparents are not mentioned in the Bible once.  The origins of godparents stems back to early Christianity when persecution was common, and followers of Christ had to keep their church services secret.  When a new member wished to join they would not be taken to the secret church service location right away.  Instead, a “godparent” would tutor the hopeful member on scripture for a number of months until that new person could be trusted.  Once the new member was deemed trustworthy, their tutor would vouch for them in front of their church as the new member's godparent.  Because godparents are more or less a nice tradition now, it's okay to create your own guidelines for choosing the godparents of your child, weather that be 4 godmothers and no godfathers or simply one godfather, it’s completely up to you.  Pastor Steinberg did note that godparents are not legally recognized, for this reason he highly recommends making a will to make sure that your children are left in good hands in the event of your passing.

​Group Night is held at New Beginnings.  Every Thursday, we meet as a group to discuss important life skills and educational topics.  Discussions are led by community volunteers and can cover a broad range of topics.

​The experience of becoming a first-time mother has put a lot of things into perspective for me. It amazes me how our bodies react to the baby growing inside us: morning sickness (that name is so deceiving), sore boobs, bleeding gums, stuffy nose, headaches, itchy legs, utter exhaustion, and so much more. I really had no idea how difficult it could be! With symptoms like these it would be so difficult not to have the support of someone you love. My husband has been my rock through this experience: he has taken on extra chores around the house (including emptying the litter box *I was thrilled to give that up*), cooked for me, listened to me complain, and helped me when I felt sick. The fact that many of the mothers that come to New Beginnings do not have support from anyone when they call us breaks my heart now more than ever.

What is exactly is stress? Stress is a chemical reaction in response to a negative reaction. It’s your body telling you that it doesn’t want to get hurt. This isn’t always bad; it helps keep you safe. However, too much stress can get you stuck in a negative state of being. When people are over-stressed, they typically worry too much about silly things or become desensitized to problem areas in their lives.

What are symptoms of being too stressed?
Stress has many symptoms and here are a few: increased heart rate, feeling lousy, feeling overwhelmed, forgetting things, loss of focus, and high blood pressure. Being stressed is much worse for pregnant mothers because the baby feels everything that his or her mother feels.

How do I deal with stress?
A big part of dealing with stress is recognizing it so you can plan for before, during, and after the fact. Many people only recognize what stress made them do after-the-fact. When you feel like you’re overstressed, give yourself a moment. Realize you’re having a rough time and get a fresh start. There are many simple ways to help relieve stress: write in journals, take a walk, bathe, color, listen or sing to music, pamper yourself, use a stress ball or something similar, read, take a nap, make lists, or exercise. Be proactive. When you’re really engaged it’s hard to think about all the extra stuff. Crying may not be a bad thing because it makes you feel better afterwards. It’s easier to spiral than to stay at a bottom. Everybody’s life is different. Everything has different meanings to different people. Hold yourself accountable by doing activities with others, such as working out. Get to a place where you can even compromise. Somethings will come with time. Take care of yourself.

Mind full vs. Mindful
Mindfulness is doing actions with purpose. Your mind is sometimes so cluttered that you don’t realize what you’re doing and live life on autopilot. You’re too busy thinking about the next thing that you neglect what you’re doing in the now. Focus on your breathing two minutes a day. Clear your mind. Learn awareness, self-acceptance, and letting things go. Set apps with reminders to force you to pause throughout the day. Close your eyes and take very deep breaths. Be aware of the noises around you. Open your eyes and say five things you can see, five you can hear, five you can touch, and try to find five things to taste and smell.  Be at peace. Accept things the way they are.

How to prevent stress
Find things that are important to you and make time. Say no to a new responsibility when you need to. Make sure to make yourself laugh every once in a while. Seek out that person who always puts a smile on your face or re-watch your favorite comedy. Intentionally build things into your day to brighten it up. Make your own day. Take long breaths—quickly count 1,2,3,4. Be aware of the right now and intentionally focus on what’s around you. If you need further help with your stress, many hospitals offer courses. A stress-free you is the best you!

​For this blog I interviewed one of my friends, Alexis. She’s 25 and the mother of Lola, who’s almost three. Alexis recently finished her associate’s degree and is continuing her education. She’s one of the strongest people I know, and I couldn’t wait to get some of her insights on what it’s like to be a single mother.

​What’s something you wish you would’ve known when becoming a mother?
Alexis wishes her father would’ve told her how hard it was to have a split family. She has one full brother, plus a sister from her father’s first marriage and another sister from a different relationship. Things never worked out with Lola’s father, but she remains in regular contact with him and Lola sees him often. However, it is so hard to make everyone happy. She’s trying to make it work, but there’s always something that doesn’t sit right.

What’s the best part about being a mother?
Alexis’s favorite moments are those quiet nights. Lola is always quick to announce her affection with an “I love you mom,” “Thank you mom,” or “You’re safe now.” “You can just tell by their look that you’re the greatest person in the world to them. Suddenly this gooey wet thing on your chest is the most important part of your life,” said Alexis. Unconditional love is an amazing thing. “You’re not doing half a bad job,” Alexis assures, “Always raise your child to be polite, helpful, and respectful.”

What are struggles you’ve faced as a single mother?
“Stability!” Alexis quickly responded, “Financial stability especially.” She’s currently looking for a new home for just her and Lola. She wants to be able to be the parent that she wants to be. She stated that even if you are living with someone rent-free, “pay rent” but put it into your child’s savings account. Additionally, when seasonal clothes go on sale, buy the next size up.

What advice would you give to single mothers?
“It’s okay,” Alexis said, “It’s okay if you have it together or if you don’t. If you have a baby you’re strong. You’re giving, caring and nurturing. You will be okay. Nothing will be as bad as you think. To Lola, I’m the best person. Don’t make your kid think it’s not okay. My parents sometimes didn’t have the best of times but that never stopped them from giving us a good life. Sky’s the limit. Never too late to go to school, even if you have two, four kids. Always resources out there.” 

​Is spring finally here? Only God knows but now is a great time to shake off the dust from winter and pull up your sleeves. Here is a simple guide to get started:

Out with the old
Get rid of clutter. Sort items you don’t want into three piles: throw away, donate, and sell. Many possessions like toys and clothes can go a long way if donated. Money earned from selling other items can go towards a little pocket money or be donated to your favorite charity.

Having a hard time getting started? Start small. Do a drawer a day. Divide up tasks. Give yourself a reward for everything you check off your list.
​
Reorganize your wardrobe. While you’re shifting out your heavier clothes for your summer line, why not go through your wardrobe to get rid of articles you never wear anymore? If your closet looks appealing, you’ll look appealing!
Organize books and dishes so they are easier to find and look more presentable. 

​Top to bottom
Clean your residence from top to bottom! Clean light and ceiling fixtures. Fans can be dusted with long cleaning tools or get on top of a ladder and brush the dust into a pillowcase.

Don’t forget the walls; even though they are a flat, sheer surface dust still collects on them. Windows can be cleaned simply with a rag and soapy water. Other a good glass solution can be made with water, white vinegar, rubbing alcohol, and a few drops of peppermint extract. Use a squeegee to get that extra sparkle.

Lastly, buff your wood floors. A D.I.Y. solution can be made with olive oil, white vinegar, hot water, and a few drops of lemon essential oil. Tough tile stains can be removed with baking soda and water. Just make sure to use a non-abrasive scrubber so you won’t scratch your floors.

Deep clean
Here is a list of furniture and appliances to make sure you cover: dishwasher, countertops, cabinets, stove, refrigerator, sink and faucets, bathtub and shower, bedding and mattress, washing machine, silverware, bookshelves, patio furniture, couches, tables, chairs, and other upholstery.

Use salt and soda water to clean inside refrigerators.  This is also an excellent time to go through your entire fridge and get rid of all expired food. Also when you’re finished don’t forget to place an open box baking soda in both your freezer and fridge. Move your fridge away from the wall and clean all the dust built up behind it. This way you can clean the condenser coil to keep your fridge fully functioning and reunite yourself with anything you or your cat have kicked behind it.

Even if blankets and pillows don’t need to be cleaned, air them out to get rid of any winter drab.

​Finally, don’t forget to disinfect your cleaning tools like brooms, vacuums, and sponges.

​Spring is a beautiful time. It’s the season where everything starts fresh. Why not get rid of the clutter in our hearts? Let bygones be bygones. Let go of old grudges and stressors. We are in the Easter season; Christ has washed away all our transgressions! Take this time to start anew and blossom like the beautiful human being that God created.

As I child, I understood the concept of respect but didn’t know the actual word for word meaning.  I thought that everybody understood what respect meant but, since working at New Beginnings, I realize how wrong I was!  Some of the mothers who come into New Beginnings, view respect as, “You aren’t giving me what I want, and therefore, you are not respecting me!”  My favorite false idea of respect is “I will respect you as long as you respect me and do as I want.”  The two play hand in hand.  I then realized just how blessed I was to have the strong Christian upbringing that I had along with the guidance of my parents who taught me to respect others. 

​So, what is respect?  In the dictionary it has a few different meanings but I found two that really seem to nail down the definition.  

​This is the love and respect we give the mothers who come to us looking for a new beginning.  We strive to help them accomplish their goals and grow closer to God through His Word.  We help teach them what God has to say about respect for not only others but for themselves.  I quickly found out that not everybody grew up being respected by others and therefore don’t know how to respect themselves as an adult.  Through daily instruction in God’s Word, we learn together the love that He has for us, and how He sent His Son to die for us.  What a blessed message to share with the mothers and their little ones!

​One other way your donation dollars create real, long-term change is by allowing mothers to go back to school.  Mothers who get an education can get well-paying jobs to support themselves and their children.  This ultimately stops the cycle of poverty and government assistance use.  Many of our moms start off by working toward earning their GED which is necessary for college and most job opportunities.  If they’ve already obtained a high school diploma, they’re able to start college right away to work toward a degree that will allow them to achieve self-sufficiency.  Our moms have dreams like becoming an accountant, opening up their own non-profit, becoming a nurse, and more.  By donating to New Beginnings, you empower our moms to work hard and make their dreams come true.

THANK YOU to everyone who has donated to or supported New Beginnings in some way.  You are making a true difference in the lives of the mothers and babies who come into our program.

1. You Get to Choose What You Want to Do.
​If there’s a word to describe the volunteer positions you can fill at New Beginnings, it’s variety. You can watch the home during times when regular staff isn’t there as a Home Assistant, help set up fundraisers as a Church Liaison, form a close personal relationship with a resident while also being a role model as a Mentor, help residents with their academic progress as a Tutor, lead educational programs as a Group Night Presenter, or help with different projects as a general volunteer.

Many of our mothers, prior to coming to New Beginnings, did not have the opportunity, Christian encouragement, or resources to continue their education.  One of the best books I have read is called A Framework for Understanding Poverty written by Ruby Payne.  The author illustrates that poverty is often a result of a lack of resources, and that education can change the current prevalence of poverty.  In fact, she goes on to say, "An education is key to getting out of, and staying out of, poverty."  Education has the potential to break the cycle of poverty.

However, there is a caveat.  More than 20 years of experience has shown us that mothers will often doubt their ability to continue their education because life events have eroded their self-confidence.  As we know, self-doubt is a tough feeling to overcome, but by centering the focus on God's love for us, mothers learn that with Christ anything is possible.

We know that the educational attainment of a mother predicts the educational attainment of her child.  For this reason, New Beginnings maintains an education fund in which we help mothers pay for the cost of tuition, school supplies, laptops, and transportation to school.  Your gifts are life-changing for the mothers – they are finally given an opportunity to succeed with God by their side.  To help your gift go further, the Siebert Foundation will match gifts given to education dollar for dollar.

Do you ever wonder if you really make a difference?  Those volunteer hours that you put in or that money that you donate to help support New Beginnings, does it really matter?  How can that help possibly make a difference? 

​​It Does!

A resident has graduated from the New Beginnings Program!  It is all because of God's love working through your help and support!  Here is Letisha's story and letter to all of you who have helped her along the way: