If our pasts are filled with parental figures who did not behave in our best interests, loved ones who abused our right to a safe childhood, or other events which we were too young and impressionable to properly process, your ACE (Adverse Childhood Experience) score will most likely be extremely high. 

​Although a tough childhood can severely affect our ability to make close relationships, getting to know God is a relationship that has endless rewards and is a great place to start if you feel you’re in a pattern self induced isolation. God gives us strength and can help us shed our angry exteriors and allow us to see the world as a place of possibilities and not just an obstacle course of hardships.  Once God changes our outlook, the wounds of our past will in time heal, and in the place of these wounds, scars will form which show our strength, perseverance and just how far you’ve come.

Emily Fossick is a former marketing intern that spent some at New Beginnings.  She is a student at UWM and was always willing to help out and provide some excellent insight.

​For this blog I interviewed one of my friends, Alexis. She’s 25 and the mother of Lola, who’s almost three. Alexis recently finished her associate’s degree and is continuing her education. She’s one of the strongest people I know, and I couldn’t wait to get some of her insights on what it’s like to be a single mother.

​What’s something you wish you would’ve known when becoming a mother?
Alexis wishes her father would’ve told her how hard it was to have a split family. She has one full brother, plus a sister from her father’s first marriage and another sister from a different relationship. Things never worked out with Lola’s father, but she remains in regular contact with him and Lola sees him often. However, it is so hard to make everyone happy. She’s trying to make it work, but there’s always something that doesn’t sit right.

What’s the best part about being a mother?
Alexis’s favorite moments are those quiet nights. Lola is always quick to announce her affection with an “I love you mom,” “Thank you mom,” or “You’re safe now.” “You can just tell by their look that you’re the greatest person in the world to them. Suddenly this gooey wet thing on your chest is the most important part of your life,” said Alexis. Unconditional love is an amazing thing. “You’re not doing half a bad job,” Alexis assures, “Always raise your child to be polite, helpful, and respectful.”

What are struggles you’ve faced as a single mother?
“Stability!” Alexis quickly responded, “Financial stability especially.” She’s currently looking for a new home for just her and Lola. She wants to be able to be the parent that she wants to be. She stated that even if you are living with someone rent-free, “pay rent” but put it into your child’s savings account. Additionally, when seasonal clothes go on sale, buy the next size up.

What advice would you give to single mothers?
“It’s okay,” Alexis said, “It’s okay if you have it together or if you don’t. If you have a baby you’re strong. You’re giving, caring and nurturing. You will be okay. Nothing will be as bad as you think. To Lola, I’m the best person. Don’t make your kid think it’s not okay. My parents sometimes didn’t have the best of times but that never stopped them from giving us a good life. Sky’s the limit. Never too late to go to school, even if you have two, four kids. Always resources out there.” 

​Is spring finally here? Only God knows but now is a great time to shake off the dust from winter and pull up your sleeves. Here is a simple guide to get started:

Out with the old
Get rid of clutter. Sort items you don’t want into three piles: throw away, donate, and sell. Many possessions like toys and clothes can go a long way if donated. Money earned from selling other items can go towards a little pocket money or be donated to your favorite charity.

Having a hard time getting started? Start small. Do a drawer a day. Divide up tasks. Give yourself a reward for everything you check off your list.
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Reorganize your wardrobe. While you’re shifting out your heavier clothes for your summer line, why not go through your wardrobe to get rid of articles you never wear anymore? If your closet looks appealing, you’ll look appealing!
Organize books and dishes so they are easier to find and look more presentable. 

​Top to bottom
Clean your residence from top to bottom! Clean light and ceiling fixtures. Fans can be dusted with long cleaning tools or get on top of a ladder and brush the dust into a pillowcase.

Don’t forget the walls; even though they are a flat, sheer surface dust still collects on them. Windows can be cleaned simply with a rag and soapy water. Other a good glass solution can be made with water, white vinegar, rubbing alcohol, and a few drops of peppermint extract. Use a squeegee to get that extra sparkle.

Lastly, buff your wood floors. A D.I.Y. solution can be made with olive oil, white vinegar, hot water, and a few drops of lemon essential oil. Tough tile stains can be removed with baking soda and water. Just make sure to use a non-abrasive scrubber so you won’t scratch your floors.

Deep clean
Here is a list of furniture and appliances to make sure you cover: dishwasher, countertops, cabinets, stove, refrigerator, sink and faucets, bathtub and shower, bedding and mattress, washing machine, silverware, bookshelves, patio furniture, couches, tables, chairs, and other upholstery.

Use salt and soda water to clean inside refrigerators.  This is also an excellent time to go through your entire fridge and get rid of all expired food. Also when you’re finished don’t forget to place an open box baking soda in both your freezer and fridge. Move your fridge away from the wall and clean all the dust built up behind it. This way you can clean the condenser coil to keep your fridge fully functioning and reunite yourself with anything you or your cat have kicked behind it.

Even if blankets and pillows don’t need to be cleaned, air them out to get rid of any winter drab.

​Finally, don’t forget to disinfect your cleaning tools like brooms, vacuums, and sponges.

​Spring is a beautiful time. It’s the season where everything starts fresh. Why not get rid of the clutter in our hearts? Let bygones be bygones. Let go of old grudges and stressors. We are in the Easter season; Christ has washed away all our transgressions! Take this time to start anew and blossom like the beautiful human being that God created.

​There are many reasons why single mothers aren’t able to finish their high school and college degrees. Life is not easy, and life is especially not easy for someone who is trying to work and support a child singlehandedly. The mothers that come to our home have not had the easiest time making ends meet while raising kids on their own, so we applaud them for their strength, resilience and desire to make good lives for themselves and their children.

​To live sustainably in Milwaukee, a mother needs to make at least $50,000 a year, and that is very unlikely without a college degree. We want our mothers to have a chance at a full life, so we help them get on their feet, so they can become the independent mothers that they desire to be.

​Our system works well because our mothers are able to go to class and study while free daycare services are looking after their children, and they can still come home to a warm, supportive environment after their days of classes. Furthermore, when children grow up in families of higher education, they are more likely to seek out education in the future as well. This means that when we are educating single mothers who have lived in generational poverty, we are also doing our part to snuff out generational poverty in and of itself.

​The important thing is to recognize that each mother is unique and brings her own set of skills. We want to help each mother further the skillset that she has so that she can go out into the world and live life to the full.
 
- Chloe Harbach

Ms. Harbach is a student from Wisconsin Lutheran College who is working with a team of students to put together public relations materials for New Beginnings – A Home for Mothers. 

1. You Get to Choose What You Want to Do.
​If there’s a word to describe the volunteer positions you can fill at New Beginnings, it’s variety. You can watch the home during times when regular staff isn’t there as a Home Assistant, help set up fundraisers as a Church Liaison, form a close personal relationship with a resident while also being a role model as a Mentor, help residents with their academic progress as a Tutor, lead educational programs as a Group Night Presenter, or help with different projects as a general volunteer.

2. The faith and fellowship we have on Friendship Sunday. Going to church with staff members and residents on a monthly basis promotes a feeling of unity and peace. 

6. Learning about non-profit work. Not only does New Beginnings provide a ready-made, customizable opportunity for an internship, but it also gives me the chance to see the inner workings of a non-profit organization up close. 

8. Everyone showing off their group recipes at Group Dinners once a month. With each month having a different food-related theme, it’s no surprise that every dish created by a staff member, resident supervisor, or resident is amazing!

10. Writing for the blog! As an English major, I always enjoy the chance to express my thoughts with writing. 

​Like anyone else, my friends and I have different talents. I excel at writing. One of my friends is great at chemistry. Another is good at making pop culture references. Still another is studying to be a nurse and seems to know everything that there is to know about the human body, diseases, and the medical field. However, these differences don’t change the fact that we’re friends.

The same goes for the body of Christ. In Romans 12:3-6, Paul writes, ​“For by the grace given me, I say to every one of you, do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself in sober judgement, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith.” We’ve all heard sermons and read devotions about the concept Paul discusses: together, with our various talents being used for one divine goal, we are stronger.  However, combining all our strengths leads to another asset: we are willing and able to give because everyone is sharing a talent the way people share dishes at a potluck. When you think about our different gifts that way, it makes sense that joining our talent with others for good is a way of serving God. 

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Ultimately, you can rest assured, knowing that no matter what your gifts are, you can use them to contribute to the amazing banquet of talents that God has provided here on earth. 

Not only do I get to share my faith here at New Beginnings but I am also able to provide a listening ear without judgment to all of the mothers. Sometimes, it can be hard for people to share their feelings especially when they are constantly feeling judged. My goal is to give those people a listening ear and make them feel comfortable. Along with listening with an open ear comes making close connections. When you get to know someone, you figure out you have more in common than you think. One connection I have already made is that one mother and I grew up in the same town for seventeen years and out of all of the places we could have ended up, we met each other here at New Beginnings! An amazing benefit about volunteering is that some day those close connections can lead to lifelong friendships. 

Quinna Koch joined the New Beginnings Volunteer Family early October of 2017.  She volunteers as Home Assistant and helps out with evening devotions.  She is currently attending WLC to become a nurse and is using her skills and knowledge to connect with the mothers and babies here.  She is also gaining experience for her future.

I am glad that my life is in God’s hands, because God has a better understanding than I do of which college I should attend, or graduate school, or how I need to manage my time with my animals and with other people in my life.  I make mistakes and God is awesome and righteous because He does not make mistakes.  I would be much more content if I remembered that God is trustworthy and I able to lean on Him and not my own understanding.  I know that God is good and faithful and that He is three persons in one.  I need more time with Him so that I can build my faith and trust in Him solely.  Knowledge is knowing some information, but wisdom comes from God and puts the knowledge into action.  I need more faith from God, to know that He will, has, and is removing my sin from me and that I can trust that my life is not mine, but His. ​​

I see several other believers around me and they encourage me by their faith, which God has given them.  I desire to grow closer to God in a fellowship of other believers and encourage them to grow closer to the LORD and not only know how awesome He is, but have faith that He will never leave you or forsake you.

Elyse Kipfer was an intern at New Beginnings July through September of 2017 and is now a current Resident Supervisor at New Beginnings. She is a Psychology Major and Communication Minor at Wisconsin Lutheran College. She aspires to be a Christian counselor for victims of sexual violence. Her free time consists spending time with her horse, dog, family, and friends. Furthermore, she enjoys having deep conversations and digging into God’s Word. ​

“This little light of mine/I’m gonna let it shine,”[1] These are familiar words, and have even been used as a children’s song, but how often do we stop to think about what it really means? God made each of us with a gift, and he wants us to use it. Whether our gift is writing, making friends, doing arts and crafts, singing, exploring science, or ministering, we have our gifts for a reason.
[1] https://genius.com/Traditional-folk-this-little-light-of-mine-lyrics

There is a quote about talents which goes, “If you have talent, use it in every way possible. Don’t hoard it. Don’t dole it out like a miser. Spend it lavishly like a millionaire intent on going broke.”[1] God didn’t intend for us to keep our talents for ourselves. He gave every single one of us a light to shine on this dark world.
[1] http://www.art-quotes.com/getquotes.php?catid=301&numcats=372#.WddwEVtSzIU