If our pasts are filled with parental figures who did not behave in our best interests, loved ones who abused our right to a safe childhood, or other events which we were too young and impressionable to properly process, your ACE (Adverse Childhood Experience) score will most likely be extremely high. 

​Although a tough childhood can severely affect our ability to make close relationships, getting to know God is a relationship that has endless rewards and is a great place to start if you feel you’re in a pattern self induced isolation. God gives us strength and can help us shed our angry exteriors and allow us to see the world as a place of possibilities and not just an obstacle course of hardships.  Once God changes our outlook, the wounds of our past will in time heal, and in the place of these wounds, scars will form which show our strength, perseverance and just how far you’ve come.

Emily Fossick is a former marketing intern that spent some at New Beginnings.  She is a student at UWM and was always willing to help out and provide some excellent insight.

​The experience of becoming a first-time mother has put a lot of things into perspective for me. It amazes me how our bodies react to the baby growing inside us: morning sickness (that name is so deceiving), sore boobs, bleeding gums, stuffy nose, headaches, itchy legs, utter exhaustion, and so much more. I really had no idea how difficult it could be! With symptoms like these it would be so difficult not to have the support of someone you love. My husband has been my rock through this experience: he has taken on extra chores around the house (including emptying the litter box *I was thrilled to give that up*), cooked for me, listened to me complain, and helped me when I felt sick. The fact that many of the mothers that come to New Beginnings do not have support from anyone when they call us breaks my heart now more than ever.

​For this blog I interviewed one of my friends, Alexis. She’s 25 and the mother of Lola, who’s almost three. Alexis recently finished her associate’s degree and is continuing her education. She’s one of the strongest people I know, and I couldn’t wait to get some of her insights on what it’s like to be a single mother.

​What’s something you wish you would’ve known when becoming a mother?
Alexis wishes her father would’ve told her how hard it was to have a split family. She has one full brother, plus a sister from her father’s first marriage and another sister from a different relationship. Things never worked out with Lola’s father, but she remains in regular contact with him and Lola sees him often. However, it is so hard to make everyone happy. She’s trying to make it work, but there’s always something that doesn’t sit right.

What’s the best part about being a mother?
Alexis’s favorite moments are those quiet nights. Lola is always quick to announce her affection with an “I love you mom,” “Thank you mom,” or “You’re safe now.” “You can just tell by their look that you’re the greatest person in the world to them. Suddenly this gooey wet thing on your chest is the most important part of your life,” said Alexis. Unconditional love is an amazing thing. “You’re not doing half a bad job,” Alexis assures, “Always raise your child to be polite, helpful, and respectful.”

What are struggles you’ve faced as a single mother?
“Stability!” Alexis quickly responded, “Financial stability especially.” She’s currently looking for a new home for just her and Lola. She wants to be able to be the parent that she wants to be. She stated that even if you are living with someone rent-free, “pay rent” but put it into your child’s savings account. Additionally, when seasonal clothes go on sale, buy the next size up.

What advice would you give to single mothers?
“It’s okay,” Alexis said, “It’s okay if you have it together or if you don’t. If you have a baby you’re strong. You’re giving, caring and nurturing. You will be okay. Nothing will be as bad as you think. To Lola, I’m the best person. Don’t make your kid think it’s not okay. My parents sometimes didn’t have the best of times but that never stopped them from giving us a good life. Sky’s the limit. Never too late to go to school, even if you have two, four kids. Always resources out there.” 

​Any new parent knows that it’s important to keep a close eye on your little bundle of joy. Baby monitors are a great way to make sure all is well in the nursery. With advancements in technology, these devices have come a long way from being basic audio monitors. But which features are most important? Here are some factors Reviews.com looked at when they reviewed various popular baby monitors:

Nearly 100 monitors on our initial list offered infrared night vision, volume control, and support for additional cameras. To narrow our search, we earmarked particularly useful qualities we saw mentioned again and again on parenting sites. We only considered monitors that met at least two of our four criteria:

​You can check out Reviews.com’s full research and guide here.

Online Resources is something that we make use of here at New Beginnings.  We are blessed to be sent those online resources by members of the community, staff, and volunteers to be used to help educate and learn more about things available to our residents and our readers.

​I still remember the first time my parents demonstrated tough love. I was about 5 or 6 years old, and I absolutely loved making mud pies in the backyard. You know, mix some dirt, water, grass, leaves, and sticks in a bucket like a mud pie! Other kids did this too, right? In any event, my dad disliked the fact that when I was done mixing my mud pie that I would dump it all over the lawn. What a mess! He told me not to make any more mud pies and that if I did there would be consequences. Can you guess what happened?

 I made another mud pie, and this time my dad caught me mid-stir. This marked the first time that I was “grounded.” I do not even remember what “grounded” meant for me at five years old, but I do remember that I never made a mud pie again after that. 

​Why does this matter? Well, I am using this story to illustrate a point. Tough love works. It is difficult for a parent to do, but it is a necessary learning tool for the child. Tough love does not just apply to children; it applies to us as well. We see numerous examples of the consequences of choices in the Bible – the most obvious, of course, is the story of Adam and Eve (Genesis 3). Additionally, the story of David and Bathsheba also illustrates this point very clearly. If you recall, (long story short) David saw Bathsheba from afar and made the choice to sleep with her.  Bathsheba became pregnant, and David did everything he could think of to cover up his sin. As a result of his sin, Bathsheba’s husband was killed, and David’s son died as a consequence for his actions (2 Samuel 11 & 12). 

​At New Beginnings, the most difficult part of our job is to demonstrate tough love. The mothers come to New Beginnings for a reason – they need a new start for themselves and their child. Often times, the mothers who need us, need us because of some of the poor choices they have made in their past. As a part of preparation for a life centered on Christ’s love, we must demonstrate His love, which sometimes consists of tough love. Please continue to pray for the mothers and children at New Beginnings. 

In this blog, our New Beginning’s resident moms, and others, are sharing some of their struggles, joys, and how they balance the realities of motherhood.  This blog is about wanting to give support to you and one another, and learning from each other. As Dr. Benjamin Spock said, “Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.”   

Keeping in mind that it helps to have a sense of humor about the hardest and greatest job in the world, here are some answers to some typical parenting questions. 

​My biggest parenting success:  Giving all the love my children can handle.  Seeing my baby hit those developmental milestones, for example, when my child started walking.  The day I, at the same time, collapsed my stroller, held my baby, and carried a bag of groceries!  The day I ran out of diapers, got inventive, and discovered that using Viva paper towel to diaper my baby, really worked!    
My favorite “me time” indulgences:  Having “shower time” after baby is asleep.  Doing my hair, doing homework, cleaning, talking on the phone, all these daily activities that I use to take for granted, have become indulgences with baby here. 
My best day as a mom: Seeing my baby playing, having fun.  When my child was potty trained.  Giving my child a great Christmas. 
My worst day as a mom:  When my children are sick.  When there is a discipline problem.  Failed naps. Whining. When I can’t seem to get any sleep.
My best moment of the week:  Bed time.  Seeing my baby’s goofy smile really brightens my day.  When my baby holds up her arms so I’ll pick her up. 

​We hope you have been encouraged by this blog, and don’t forget to bestow your stories on others too.  You never know if what you have to say is just what someone needs to hear.  

​Hi!  My name is Letisha Norman and I am a resident at New Beginnings.  I have to say that New Beginnings has really helped me to change my life.  Although I’m not a first-time mother, my children are 15 years apart which left me in a position of really starting over.  And let me tell you: A LOT has changed since I raised my daughter, like laying babies on their backs instead of their stomaches, not giving babies water, and because I had a boy instead of a girl this time, I have to be very mindful of the way I wipe him since he was circumcised.  Obviously he was sore so it took a little longer to change him than it did with my daughter.  Laughing out loud, it’s not fun to get urinated on at 5 a.m. but thats the type of thing you go through when raising kids.   

​New Beginnings helped me to develop those skills that I am taking with me through this journey of raising my beautiful little person.  One way they help is by allowing me to live in a wonderful, safe, Christian-based environment in a home setting with enough room to allow me to be the mother I was 15 years ago, but better, because I’m learning to put God first.  Second, New Beginnings teaches me to brush up on some of my domestic skills.  Every month, we have a themed pot-luck that we all bring a homemade dish to.  We also have an assigned monthly chore and every Saturday, our apartments are checked by staff.  Every week, we have one-on-one Bible Studies and Goal Meetings.  I thank God for New Beginnings for giving me the room to grow as a mother, a person, and someday, by God’s grace, an educated woman since we do have the option of going to school or working on a career path.  That will allow me to live depending on myself and being accountable for the choices I make which works out better when I put God first.  

​“For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16).  

Letisha joined the New Beginnings Family in January of 2017 and had her son in May 2017.  She is pursuing her education while making God and her children the center of her world.

​We were once again able to meet with Pastor Shevey, this time to discuss the necessity of baptism in general, and infant baptism in particular. Pastor Shevey guided us through a definition of what baptism is, how it helps us, and why God commands it. 

Our Sinful Nature
​
Just as Christ’s forgiveness extends to all people, all people have sinful natures because of original sin. Every single human that has ever existed needs forgiveness through a Savior. If infant baptism is rejected, then the idea that all people inherit sin as part of their human nature must be rejected as well. If there is no sin, there is nothing to forgive, and thus no need for a Savior. Disregarding the need for infant baptism isn’t just disagreeing on when a person should be dedicated to Christ; it challenges the very core of our faith.

​On April 6th, we were treated to a highly informative presentation about child nutrition by Jenny Luedke, a senior nursing major at Wisconsin Lutheran College. Jenny, who is a mother herself, walked us through the basics of child nutrition from birth to five years. Everyone learned something new, and Jenny received plenty of questions. 

​Toddler Nutrition: Twelve Months to Five Years

​Once a child is a year old, he or she is ready for cow’s milk. For the first two years of life, children should drink whole milk; however, low-fat milk is also acceptable once the child is past two years of age. Some foods to avoid during this stage are strawberries and honey, because children can choke on the strawberry seeds and honey has botulinum spores that make children sick.